I’m Sleeping With Two Different Guys, And This Is Why | Thought Catalog
The sex part is great and all but if we just slept together I want to. yeah, it turns out that she was fucking two other guys while i was dating her. What is really bothering me about this, is that my mother who I am extremely close with has recently found out that I am sleeping with two guys. Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Sex and dating multiple men This happened to me last time with 2 guys and they were both pissed off at me. guys are and why men will not commit to servatin.info stop sleeping.
Best to date them to at least get to know them enough that they are no longer strangers. Best to stick with local dating. It dating people met in real life.
- I’m Sleeping With Two Different Guys, And This Is Why
- Looking for love? THIS is why experts are telling women to date MULTIPLE men at once
- How To Handle More Than One Sex Partner
Sleep with a person when you feel fully comfortable to do so. March 3, at I have sex when I want sex — but I have learned from men to keep sex compartmentalized.
How To Handle More Than One Sex Partner - David Wygant
Sex can be a purely physical act of release, pleasure and warmth. It can also be the ultimate expression of two souls joining in the act of making love with their bodies. It can also be many things in-between. Many young women confuse sex with love. If they have sex with someone they think the other person feels some kind of emotional bond…. For men emotional bonding is separate from sex. That is why the young women get all upset when they gave sex and did not get love in return.
Fully understanding this would save a lot of heartache. March 4, at 1: March 4, at 6: March 4, at 5: Not to mention you start confusing facts. Like are you the one with the 18 year old son or the German Sheppard.
Rose — To answer your question of why I am dating so many men far away: I guess if I lived in a bigger city like LA it would be easier. Sorry to wet-blanket your happyfunsexytimes It was also my only jumping-out red flag type of thing. We have all heard the stories of the "I got pregnant despite being on the pill" etc. Please be sure you are doing everything in your power to protect yourself.
It's all fun and games til this one-in-a-million piece of shite hits the fan. And you would find yourself quite alone, I would think, if the stork came calling, no matter how fun and interested R and J seem to be now. It would be mine, if I were in those shoes. And that at the same time as having a fun setup with R, no less. You're not someone who's been real sexually active so this feels great and new and you're proud and you want to shout it from the rooftops. I'm for women getting what they want.
It feels great to have a guy who dumped you come back, I know. But it sounds to me like he came back for a booty call, not because he likes you so much.
He had the chance to date you and he turned it down. You don't have to feel guilty because your mom disapproves. But she probably disapproves because she's worried this is uncharacteristic for you, and she doesn't want you to be treated as a booty call by a guy you're really wishing would actually fall for you. Maybe she's been there herself. Just keep your eyes open. Relationships of any sort involve a chance of getting hurt, of course, but you can make these risk-reward assessments for yourself, without putting any stock in the "what kind of woman sleeps with two men" judgement paradigm.
However, just because you're close with your mom doesn't mean that this is the most appropriate topic of conversation to share with her. Some mothers are comfortable chatting with their adult daughters about casual sex. Between generational differences and the fact that HER sex life is how you came to exist, she's going to be pretty biased.
It's not mean or secretive of you to keep this part of your life a little more private from her. Having been in this situation twice, where I thought I was ok with it being casual and the other party not wanting to commit, I found that over time and with more sex my feelings quickly escalated and that both times I got really hurt as they didn't want to be monogamous.
I've got a whole askme question posted with regards to the second time this happened to me with a girl. Keep a check on your feelings, because if they do escalate too far, you probably won't have the strength to pull yourself away and then you will end up getting really hurt. But that is a normal danger from any relationship.
Topic: Sex and dating multiple men until a commitment is made
You cannot control R or J, however and they could become dissatisfied with the arrangement. But again, those are normal dangers.
Is that you are uncomfortable with your mother's disapproval? Or is there a part of you that thinks she might be right or partly right.
The way you write here you sound very confident that you are acting in alignment with your own values but maybe there is a little part of you isn't sure? If so, it can really help to be clear about that, either because there is a warning there you should listen to or because once you examine it, it turns out not to be an issue. Everyone says, "just don't tell your mother" but if you are really close to her and if she is an understanding type of person, there is also the option to talk to her about how your values at heart are similar to hers but in practice lead to different conclusion about what is right.
For example, you might both value integrity and caring in relationship but have a different view of when it is appropriate to have sex with someone. Obviously, don't rub it in but it would be nice if there was a way that you didn't have to hide your true self from her.
For future reference, tho. Kind of sounds like one of these guys doesn't fit the bill. He never fell for you like a ton of bricks while you are over the moon for him. The imbalance is unworkable. Also, off-and-on for reasons other than things outside the relationship moving for grad school, patent with cancer, lost job leading to depression spiraling out of control is always a very bad sign.
In this case, the relationship was off because you wanted something serious and he did not. And now you two are on again because??? Date as many people as you have time for. Have sex with anyone who is seeing it the way you do.
Stop telling your mom and people you are dating about your love life.
I also agree that you should check in with your own feelings regularly. I tend to fall in love at the drop of a hat and couldn't do this without a lot of angst and feelings.
I would probably also hope that one or the other would change their mind about not wanting commitment because, ya know, I always hoped I would be the one who would change them! This may not be you, though!
Sex and dating multiple men until a commitment is made
Not to mention that time spent with these emotionally dis-interested people may keep you from activities where you could meet an actual mature love-returning person.
Finally, about the pregnancy thing, both of these guys sound like boys who would ghost you and be totally unsupportive if anything happened.
I would like to point out that my feelings for J have somewhat dimmed, quite dramatically as he is not on the pedestal that I had placed him on in the beginning when I was getting to know him. I see him in a pretty different light now after everything that has happened and I feel like I am finally seeing the real J, who is still wonderful, but much more real and normal, and less the unconquerable man of my dreams haha. Maybe I'm naive but I am very close with both of these guys and like to think they would be there for me if I were to fall pregnant I would not keep it but I am taking all precautions!
I feel comfortable in my own choice to pursue these relationships, it's the fact that I have to live with my mum's disapproval that is the real issue. I have just graduated from university and am living at home with my family so I can save up for a deposit on a house, so it is very hard to have privacy in my life at the moment, particularly if I am spending the night somewhere else and refuse to lie to her about where I've been. She has now said that I will need to think about moving out sooner if this is my choice and they will stop supporting me in the way they currently are.
This hurt, and I'm not sure if she was serious or not. I don't know how to get her to see my opinion on what sex should be. She doesn't have to agree with it but at this stage she refuses to accept that sex is anything other than something to be shared in a loving relationship.
I don't know how to get around this. She sees it as a slap in the face to her and dad, that I am willing to go against their wishes after everything they've done for me. This is what is not sitting well with me, and needs to be resolved. For once in my life, I won't back down and neither will she. I don't know how to get around this Then you need to move out. If you're going to stay with her under those circumstances, you need to defer to her more than you would if you were living independently.
As things progressed in his work, and he started to get the hang of things, he found a way to fit me into his life. When I was on campus, I would see the other guy, who can easily say or do anything to make me fall for him again; and he knew he had this controlling power over me.
So, as you can guess, I began sleeping with both guys. Neither of them knew about the other. I felt so bad, so dirty, and so weak. But then, I began to think about it all; am I really in the wrong?
I fell in love with both of these men at two different points in my life… so what happens when they both come back? Deep down, I know what was going through my mind, and it pains me to say it: I think this is due to the fact of how many times I was hurt in past relationships, and also because both of these guys have hurt me once before.
How could I be so completely selfish?